Old School Covenant Parlor

King of the Mixed Metaphor

Ah, it feels good to just sit and relax in the parlor again! It’s been quite a while since I’ve felt up to the journey. But where are my manners? Come in, have a seat in that comfy leather wing-back, while I take this dark blue one. Help yourself to what’s on the settee. There’s some Celestial Seasonings’ English Toffee - one of my absolute favorites with milk & sugar, indeed a very British taste. (Highest per-capita consumption of sugar in the world is the British Isles, by the way!) And a very special treat today - those sinfully delicious chocolate caramel brownies made by our very own Covenant Postmaster (Post-mistress? Post-person? Just Post? I’ve no idea what the politically correct appellation is here… anyway - Mail Room Lady Par Excellance), Eileen.

But my reminiscence today goes back, not to the Mail-room, but to the classroom - particularly to that professor I would name the King of the Mixed Metaphore…

…Dr. Henrick Krabbendam. Affectionately addressed as Dr. K, he is one of the few remaining Old School folk that have been here longer than I have.

The other day it struck me that I remember the Bible department offices being moved three times. When I came, they were on 2nd floor Carter, where the RD Apartment sits now. Then when the Chapel was built they moved to those rooms that are now the practice rooms. Then when Sanderson Hall was built they were moved to their current location.

Of course, Dr. K was extremely bright, with a penetrating analytical mind. In my estimation his dual crowning achievements were his analytical outline of the book of Deuteronomy, and that of the Gospel of John. But besides being bright, he was always amusing. I always remember Dr. K classes being full. And, besides Bobby Haymes, I don’t remember too many who could fall asleep in one of his classes.

With relished anticipation many of us always looked forward to seeing just how the tall, disheveled Dutchman would mangle the English language today! Most famous, of course, were his mixed metaphors. I wish I had a dollar for every time someone’s horse was barking up the wrong tree. I particularly enjoyed the mental picture of someone hanging on by the skin of his finger-nails (makes about as much sense as, and perhaps more than, the "skin of his teeth").

Most students attributed the entertaining mixture of metaphor to the struggles of this distinctly Dutch mind with the not-quite-yet-mastered English language. (And perhaps there is a fundamental discontinuity between Dutch thought and English language - I’ll leave that question to those of you still trying to understand the writings of Van Til.) But I never really bought that line of reasoning. Personally, I think Dr. K didn’t struggle with the language nearly as much as he let on. I’ve always thought the mixed metaphors were calculated rather than accidental. They were the mark, not of a struggling communicator, but of a consummate communicator. They were used as a literary device that served to capture and focus the attention (and the sympathies) of the audience - with quite effective results.

As you chew on that last bit of decadent brownie (they really are delicious, aren’t they?), chew on this - I have only mentioned two of my favorite Dr. K metaphors (partly because of the poverty of my memory at the moment, but mostly to leave room for you). If you have had the honor of studying under the tall Dutchman, think back on some of your favorite metaphors, and include them in your own comments…

Posted by drbill at February 28, 2004 09:10 AM