Ken's Corner

The drama of 8th grade, part 1

So I’m teaching 8th graders these days, and one thing I’ve learned is that what the teacher says really doesn’t seem to matter to these kids. With all the extra hormones racing through their bodies, it’s difficult to know if anything is registering in their cranial cavity. The only thing that they feel strongly about (besides the opposite sex, of course) is the amount of homework I give to them. Throughout most of my teaching time, I generally try to engage them with questions; except for one student, who for some reason thinks he knows the answer to every single question, no one bothers to respond. But then comes the time for giving assignments: “O.K. class, read pages 81-90 and do the 3 study questions in the book.” At this point, they begin to respond. For the next several minutes, something like the following ensues:

“Oh man, are you kidding?”
“It’s only Monday, and you’re giving us homework!”
“How about only the evens?”
“Mr. Montgomery, Joel spilled white-out down my shirt.”
“Do I have to use complete sentences?”
“Can’t we just have a quiz instead?”
“Can I use the restroom?”
“Is this going to be graded?”
“Can I use the restroom?”
“We already have homework in another class!”
“Mr. Montgomery, I pricked myself with a compass and am bleeding profusely. Can I go get a drink of water?”

And so forth. It’s truly a wonder that they are able to pass the tests I give them. In my estimation, home-schooling is the best option for grades 6-8; namely, the kind of home-schooling where you’re locked in a room and fed through a slit in the door.

But on the more serious side, I actually enjoy teaching. Even if the students only remember a few meaningful things from my class, I am glad to have the opportunity to help them along the way. I just wish they would get there more quickly.