Television all hell breaks loose

Q: Mr. Nuge
My question for you is how do I start to become the huntress I am designed to be? My hunting experiences are limited to pathetic attempts to score high on Duck Hunt by practically tapping the fake gun against the television screen and watching my former Girl Scout leader get initiated after her first deer killing. Maybe my other question is how should I cope with seeing my Girl Scout leader have her face covered in the blood of a deer's chest cavity?
Beth

A: Salute Beth for being an NRA warrior. I'm with you all the way. I also salute you for your honest dedication to the ethics that run so strong in our honorable hunting culture. You make us proud. I recommend starting with a bow and a turkey. Welcome my friend to the BloodBrother Tribe of the Mystical Flight of the Arrow. You are about to enter the ultimate stimuli zone! Say YOWZA!! Duckhunt is smalltime. A turkey is a big, tuff critter & takes all the killing a deer does. Congrats!! I didn't connect till I was 20!!! Way to go!! Maybe also you could try shoving the fake gun into a trash can. I am convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that the traditional 2 blade broadhead design is THE killingest head of all. Period. If your Girl Scout Leader had used a killingest head then there wouldn't have been such a mess -- and more MEAT!! MEAT is LIFE!! Fletch alignment is unnecessary, but a high profile feather like Gateway's leftwing shield cut fletched hard helical is by far the best.You will not be let down my friend!! Maybe you could take your roommate hunting with you. Hunting is always wonderful, but hunting with the family is the ultimate! Youre never too old to start bowhunting, believe me.
My body is 49% bluegill slabbage!! I hope to see ya in The Sportsmens Paradise sometime!! Godbless, BBT