When a bird hits your window, someone you know is about to die

There's a version of American history out there, that's popular with liberals right now (I remember seeing it repeatedly in Salon and Harper's, but I'm sure I've seen other places, too -- its being pushed hard by Thomas Frank, author of "What's the Matter with Kansas?"), that argues that the current growing division between the upper middle class and the blue collar middle class (which is forcing the blue collar class down into the lower class) is a result of Reagan (and Republicans after him) duping blue collar voters into voting Republican against their best economic interests. According to this theory, prior to Reagan, blue collar and white collar workers could both achieve similar levels of economic success (home in the suburbs, good insurance, secure retirement, something about the American dream, blah blah), although the ceiling was obviously higher for white collar workers. After Reagan, though, Republicans twisted the rules of the game in favor of the rich and corporations, at the expense of the blue collar worker.

Here are my questions:

1. I take it as obvious that blue collar workers in the seventies had a brighter future in blue collar work than blue collar workers now do. But, is that because of a shift in governmental policy (per the theory), or because of unavoidable changes in the condition of the marketplace? I would think the answer is "a mixture." So I suppose the question would be, what sort of mixture?

2. The reason liberals posit this history is to suggest that the rules ought to be returned to the way they were before Reagan. Is that possible (or desirable), or have changes in the condition of the marketplace made it impossible to return to pre-Reagan-esque policies? I'd be happy to sacrifice some of the wealth of the wealthy if it could be moved down the economic food chain a bit, particularly if it ended up in the hands of hard-working people. But is that possible? Or would that just produce an all-boats-sink-with-the-biggest-boats-effect?

to destroy like a lover or a neighbor

Q: nuge!
Cry for help! Local BBT 137 (remember fall of 99, you came to the meeting!) is having a huge crisis! Secretary (that should have been the firstclue) Martin is going vegan. We were in the middle of planning one of your suggested Porcupine Axehunt festivals when he dropped that one on us. Can plants be life? He thinks so. how do we cope?
-avuncularmom

A: Evil never goes away throughout history it merely comes on when terror is to be forced. An astutely upgraded level of awareness overall by a basically lame society could snag this punk & eliminate him post haste. However, freedom of speech is ultra important so stupid people will make their stupid statements so we know how stupid they are. Stand strong and proud, with actions, letters, and phone calls in defiance of ignorant people, who wish to force their mistakes on society and wildlife, in detriment to all. Our BloodBrother The Wolf truly represents The Great Spirit of the Wild as a wild & free beast of individuality & pack attitude. He embodies nature to the Xtreme!! Perhaps you should ask this wayward brother if he could picture The Wolf eating a squash. Would that represent pack attitude? I stretch a bit & krank away on my guitar backstage for a few minutes before the assault, but mostly my prep is a clean, active lifestyle!! Vegetables are not a clean or active part of a life style!! When did you last see a cucumber run down a head of lettuce before you shot both?? Some vegetables even come from inside the ground!! That's not clean!! Properly delivered kinetic energy kills. Bigger heavier faster bullets kill best, but proper placement is everything. I luv the mighty 30-30, but there are so many superior calibers & actions that better suit most hunting particularly TX hunting. Get yourself a quality bolt action in .243, 7mm08, 25-06 or any of the mid cals like those. The whole Nuge fmaily has come to really appreciate these calibers for control & marxmanship upgrade. However, if this brother turns and rejoins the pack, celebrate! Get em a suction cup arrow & bow set asap!! Projectile celebration is the best!! Have him shoot at cups on the floor! I luv allthings bang &twang!! BBT

Television all hell breaks loose

Q: Mr. Nuge
My question for you is how do I start to become the huntress I am designed to be? My hunting experiences are limited to pathetic attempts to score high on Duck Hunt by practically tapping the fake gun against the television screen and watching my former Girl Scout leader get initiated after her first deer killing. Maybe my other question is how should I cope with seeing my Girl Scout leader have her face covered in the blood of a deer's chest cavity?
Beth

A: Salute Beth for being an NRA warrior. I'm with you all the way. I also salute you for your honest dedication to the ethics that run so strong in our honorable hunting culture. You make us proud. I recommend starting with a bow and a turkey. Welcome my friend to the BloodBrother Tribe of the Mystical Flight of the Arrow. You are about to enter the ultimate stimuli zone! Say YOWZA!! Duckhunt is smalltime. A turkey is a big, tuff critter & takes all the killing a deer does. Congrats!! I didn't connect till I was 20!!! Way to go!! Maybe also you could try shoving the fake gun into a trash can. I am convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that the traditional 2 blade broadhead design is THE killingest head of all. Period. If your Girl Scout Leader had used a killingest head then there wouldn't have been such a mess -- and more MEAT!! MEAT is LIFE!! Fletch alignment is unnecessary, but a high profile feather like Gateway's leftwing shield cut fletched hard helical is by far the best.You will not be let down my friend!! Maybe you could take your roommate hunting with you. Hunting is always wonderful, but hunting with the family is the ultimate! Youre never too old to start bowhunting, believe me.
My body is 49% bluegill slabbage!! I hope to see ya in The Sportsmens Paradise sometime!! Godbless, BBT

The universe works on a math question that never really ever is ending

I can't let the week pass without mentioning the 100th anniversary of Bloomsday. Jim Lewis (contemporary novelist) and Jeff Eugenides (also contemporary novelist, books include Virgin Suicides and Middlesex) had one of those Slate "discussions" about Ulysses and the modern novel that is pretty interesting. The fourth entry, Jim tells us what kind of novel he would like to write, is particularly fun.

No dancing

Some people call satellite dishes "West Virginia wildflowers." I find that extremely quaint, endearing, and just about right. I used to spend a lot of time in West Virginia, and it really is a state where a person could, with very little irony, call a satellite dish a wildflower. Because West Virginia has both, and its a state of extraordinary beauty and extraordinary poverty.

Some people like engaging in massed battles with broadswords and maces.

The picture is from the "Pennsic War", presumably fought by the East Kingdom and some other kingdom. There are apparently seventeen kingdoms in the Society for Creative Anachronism. Personally, I find it a bit odd, but, again, charming in its complete lack of irony. I'm not the sort of person who could do something like that without being overwhelmed by the irony of what I was doing, but I think there's something very interesting about the activity and the people who engage in it. Usually, I like to poke fun at and condescend towards things (condescension, aloofness, and irony mix very well), but this is just interesting (oh, and really, really nerdy), at least when you're wasting time at work.

Season's Greetings from BBT

Hey Bloodbrotherz Ted Heree, I know you all have questions that the Spirit of the Wild has left you and I know I have the answers. Lay them on me and I'll answer on Monday! Kill em all! Bowfishin is great!

Monday's Ask the Nuge

Q: BloodBrother Ted, I've had this problem for several weeks now. My roommate is the only one with guns, and he won't share. The other week, he shot a rabbit, skinned it, and dropped it on the barbie. I got one little piece. It's clear that I have to either find new hunting methods (I have slingshots, knives, and a terrible hunting dog) or take the guns for a little while. What Would TheNuge Do?
-Avuncularmom
A: A-Ahhhh, the mighty Cape Buf! You're in for some bigfun my friend. I have bowkilled numerous African Cape Buffalo with my bow dating back to 1978 in the Sudan. I remember it like it were today!! A 75# bow will do the job with a 600+ grain arrow and a razorsharp, strong 2 blade head like Magnus, Zwickey or Bear. Avoiding the massive shoulder blade is imperative. The most important preparation for dangerous game bowhunting is mental. Think BUFFALO!! Think DEATH! Why Buffalo? Why Death? Because your roommate is like a massive Buffalo! Bowfishin is a riot! Kill em all! As long as the arrow is properly spined & good 5" helical fletch is used, you got manmeat!!! IF the Great Spirit of awareness & discipline is with you!! I am!! Also, Fondle as many different guns as possible at your local gunshop. Ask many questions & go slow!! Start with a simple open sight .22 bolt. Get experienced direction & have huge fun!! Be the ultimate predator you can be and pick that ultra sweetspot right behind the shoulder at the top of the crease, 1/3 way up from the bottom. The beast MUST be broadside or slightly quartering away, but not too much of an angle. Did I mention THINK BUFFALO!! Get yuour predator mind right & shoot straight & celebrate the beast!! Goodluck!! Send Photos! BBT

Cocaine in Montreal

Saw Will Oldham outdoors at the Orange Twin Conservation Community (a bunch of hippies just north of Athens) Saturday night. The really awful band Brightblack unfortunately played for way too long. That's how I would describe their music: unfortunate. Protect your ears. Avoid Brightblack.

The Bonnie Prince, though, was fantastic, although I left towards the end of the acoustic part (he had to unplug because it started raining and thundering, and we had no idea that the rain wasn't going to just keep getting harder). While I heard a bunch of his great songs and he was really on (he was also turning on and tuning out, or whatever it was that dead hippie used to recommend, but that's immaterial), the one that sticks with me was this unnecessarily raunchy rap song he covered, which was absolutely hysterical. It really reminded me of this one song off Hawksley Workman's album Lover-Fighter, which is terrific in a Canadian-guy-channeling-Prince (the artist formerly and once more know as, not Bonnie)-and-Buckley-while-writing-and-performing-all-the-songs-himself-in-a-barn sort of way. That song has this line "Smoke, baby, smoke, baby, more alcohol baby" that is hysterical in exactly the same way as Oldham singing lines about fogging up the windows and thugging it is.

I haven't got a stitch to wear

Shootemup! I was in the bookstore Tuesday evening with Jess, when the Nuge's latest tome, Kill it and Grill it, caught my eye. I've had an infatuation with Bloodbrother Ted since high school, when my friend Paul and I discovered this meat-loving Tarzan of a rocker on VH1. What, you might ask, do Ted and a bookstore have to do with each other? Usually, not much. But, and this might surprise you like it surprised me, Ted is actually a best-selling author. Although, if you read Ted's replies on his Ask Nuge website, you might be inclined to think that Ted didn't write any of the words in his books (except the title, which, like that of his previous awesome spew "God, Guns, and Rock'N'Roll" is so Ted it hurts), since the book is filled with organized paragraphs and coherent sentences (bloody, mangled, crazed, and profanity-laced, but coherent -- and seemingly lacking in strangely capitalized/entirely unpunctuated references to Indian spirituality, unlike the Tribe Nuge -- "Our fire is for BloodBrotherz all."). That sentence wasn't particularly coherent. Maybe Ted wrote it.

Hands-on! Ted's writing style is actually so amazing it has to be accompanied by random shots of Ted posing with dead animals. Here's a brief sample (nuggets of the Nuge):

Q- Dear Ted: I would like to ask you your opinion on what type of handgun you would recommend. The main purpose would be carry and home defense. I have had revolvers but am now looking at semiautomatics. Something in a 40 cal. I think would be best. What do you think?
A- Thank you sir. I only hope that those who express appreciation for what I do will apply my activism and show sincere appreciation by helping me fight our fight. Your warrior memberships truly show you care. Salute! You cannot go wrong with any handgun LSK. FEEL is the key. .40 is a great caliber, especially with CorBon power ammo. I carry the ever reliable, fantastically accurate Glock Model 20 in 10mm, in which I can load .40 ammunition without a worry. The key is dedicated practice. Shootemup!!
Q- What's your opinion on hunting boar with only a bulldog and a knife? - Phil
A- I've done it & I luv it!! hands-on!! It's life!! BBT

Q- Dear Uncle Ted-
I have a 7 year old daughter who expresses a lot of interest in the world of hunting. My wife doesn't feel she is old enough to hunt with me. At what age do you think it's ok to take her hunting. She is very smart for a 7 year old and pays close attention to detail. Thank you! Mark, Ohio
A- I'm proud your little girl connects with the ol guitar player hunter! How cool is that! 7 is a fine age to baptize a youngster into the great Spirit of the Wild!! My daughter Sasha killed her 1st big Texas whitetail at that age & we had a blast! Be sure to break her in gentle, in easy weather conditions & a gentle time table to keep her comfortable. Take her almost to her limit to teach her self control & discipline but don't make her unnecessarily uncomfortable. Quality time with a BB gun & .22 rifle & handgun at easy close range targets will go far to encourage her. Take the wife under these same gentle conditions too & feel their spirit glow & grow!! Goodluck & let me know how ya all do. Godbless & Godspeed, BloodBrotherz, Ted

Clip it and grip it! In honor of the Nuge, in a determined bid to boost reader/blogger interaction, and in a blatant rip off of some other guy, I will now be writing my own Ask Ted advice column every Monday to take a load off, Annie. Please address your questions to "Ted", "the Nuge" or "BloodBrother Ted," but you can leave them in the comments section of my blog. If you don't ask any questions, I'll still write the answer, unless I get bored with it. All I have to say is... Prepare yourselves for Full Bluntal Nugeity!

I'll take the hard road

It's been a long time, hasn't it? Weddings will do that to you.

The Dullest Blog:

I flew to Boston and drove a very expensive rental car to Maine and back (I also enjoyed northern New Hampshire and southern New Hampshire, but did not experience central New Hampshire). I drove on Highway US 1 North, the old postal route. I took a picture of Paul Bunyan in Bangor, thereby documenting my experiences.

Our apartment is stacked full of boxes. I folded some of them up so they would fit into the dumpster more easily. I took them to the dumpster in the alley, where I saw the chipmunks and ants eating the garbage.

I saw Jessie get sick. I took her car to the Walgreens and paid for some medicine. I told her to take the pills, which made her feel better.

I had to go back to work at Telenet. I have a new idea about getting a job as a teacher with temporary certification. I took a practice Praxis II World History test, thereby boosting my confidence.

I found an email from Julian in the my inbox. I thought that I should write him back and I really should. I wondered if he still reads this, but I don't think I emailed him back yet.