The king of carrot-flowers, pt. 1

Cheer up! McDonalds is eliminating the super-size option! Soon we will all be slim and Swedish!

In other news, scientists are not sure why the elk are dying.

In Chris Holton-related news, Chris is a really straight man! That is because he tells it straight! When I say that you rock a camel's hoof (or whatever it was I said), I refer to that esteemable, but sadly deceased, troubadour Wesley Willis!