If we fry, we all fry together
Why the longest wording isn't always the best wording. A humorous email I received today (name and email addresses withheld, but nothing else altered). Particularly humorous if you tend to laugh at word problems in pre-algebra books. Especially ones in which are solved in an unwieldy and illogical manner but still manage to arrive at the (more or less) correct conclusion. Answer the questions posed by Long-winded Guy with a Thesaurus and I will email your answers to him. Preferably in fragmented but official-sounding sentences; spice liberally with terms such as "Irregardless" (an eatingbark favorite), "Ergo", and "Furtherthereforemore". Also, answer this ponderance:
Is ponderance a synonym for question?
-----Original Message-----
From: Long-winded Guy with a Thesaurus
Sent: Tuesday, May 18, 2004 10:42 AM
To: Julian Moses; Amber Elder; Andy Hawkins; Carrie McCleese; Charles Townsend; Christy Pass; Diane Walvick; Emily Heikkila; Erik Peterson; Gabriel Ceballos; Heather McCoy; Illona Stewart; Jeff Kures; Jessica Walker; Marc Lucier; Melanie Cimino; Melody Dominguez; Nathan Allen; Nina Oliver; Pam Rakestraw; Rachel Grimes; Rob Holmes; Showyn Walton; Stephanie Johnson; Steve Kennedy; Tami Frye; Ute Holman
Cc: Long-winded Guy with a Thesaurus
Subject: RE: Fwd: FW: Gasoline
My friends, I have received these Gasoline emails for long enough. Please do not send them to me. Fathom this thought for a moment if you would:
If I am to go without purchasing gasoline for one day and on the same day as the rest of the world's participants, I would have prior need to have the appropriate amount of fuel needed for transportation on that day. Ergo, the other participants in this fuel boycott and myself would need to purchase our needed fuel within the necessary days preceding the designated boycott. If one-half of the participants commute one-half of the distance that I do for work five days per week, that would still amount to an average of over 60 miles per day. I drive a '99 Honda Accord, which received an excellent rating for fuel economy prior to the release of hybrid cars into the public sector. If one-half of the participants have the exact or lesser actual fuel economy that my vehicle has under normal traffic circumstance and absent other exigent circumstances including vehicular accident, and if driver operation deviation is nominal and does not sway the result irregularly, the resulting amount of gasoline needed to be purchased within two days of the assigned boycott date would put several billion dollars of unplanned gasoline purchases into the hands of your chosen adversary and at a point in the week which would signal the front lines of gasoline marketing to increase the cost of gasoline for that coming weekend (above and beyond what they already mandate as a weekend increase).
Sound far-fetched? Answer these ponderances as closely as possible:
1. How does the controlling entity for oil refining companies set its target price for gasoline?
2. If your answer to question 1 is per "textbook", why did this controlling entity declare in the first quarter of 2004, as covered in the Wall Street Journal, that it would not decrease the price of gasoline?
3. Do you want to kick your economics professor in the butt for deducting points from your final exam for answering the supply and demand question based upon "reality"?
Long-winded Guy with a Thesaurus
Ext. 334
-----Original Message-----
From: Julian Moses
Sent: Tuesday, May 18, 2004 9:24 AM
To: Amber Elder; Andy Hawkins; Carrie McCleese; Charles Townsend; Christy Pass; Diane Walvick; Emily Heikkila; Erik Peterson; Gabriel Ceballos; Heather McCoy; Illona Stewart; Jeff Kures; Jessica Walker; Marc Lucier; Melanie Cimino; Melody Dominguez; Nathan Allen; Nina Oliver; Pam Rakestraw; Rachel Grimes; Rob Holmes; Showyn Walton; Stephanie Johnson; Steve Kennedy; Tami Frye; Long-winded Guy with a Thesaurus; Ute Holman
Subject: FW: Fwd: FW: Gasoline
Julian C. Moses
ext 349
-----Original Message-----
From: Jamie Creppel
Sent: Monday, May 17, 2004 4:59 PM
To: Julian Moses; Emily Heikkila; Tamika Bryant; Carmen Gomez; Elizabeth Hunter; Christy Pass; Alicia Mahoney; Carolyn Jones; Caroline Walsh
Subject: FW: Fwd: FW: Gasoline
-----Original Message-----
From: GA Dolphin [mailto:y@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, May 17, 2004 3:56 PM
To: y@mktresponse.com
Subject: FW: Fwd: FW: Gasoline
Jamie
>From: TEENA >To: CONNIE HARDIGREE , BRUCE CLARK , BellSouth Online Customer Service , JULIE BENKOSKI , BMG Music Service , Diane Pannell , "yyy@carlwrightaal.com'" , CHERYL WOOD , DAVID , Nick , FRANCHESCA , JAMIE CRAPPEL , JAY SULLIVAN , Jerrie Courson , JEANNIE DAWSON , yyy@aol.com, MARCHELLE GREEN , LISA BRUCE , LINDA OWENS , NICK AGUILAR , STEVE OWENS , RANDY DAWSON , STACEY SULLIVAN , SUE AGUILAR , me , ELIOUSE , TAYLOR LANE SMITH , CLARICE PORTERFIELD , tim patrick , tina >Subject: Fwd: FW: Gasoline >Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 13:49:20 -0700 (PDT) > > > >Stacey wrote:Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 11:29:38 -0700 (PDT) >From: Stacey >Subject: Fwd: FW: Gasoline >To: sue aguilar , >Tiffany Beers , Lisa Bruce >, >Mica Buice , >cathy fontenot , >Kathy French , chris owens >, >Linda Owens , >TINA SMITH , jay sullivan , >jay sullivan , >katrina sullivan , >mark williams > > > >Note: forwarded message attached. > > >Stacey > > >--------------------------------- >Do you Yahoo!? >SBC Yahoo! - Internet access at a great low price. > > > ATTACHMENT part 2 message/rfc822 >From: "GA Dolphin" >To: y@yahoo.com, y@aol.com, y@aol.com, y@bellsouth.net, y@graffiti.net, y@rock.com, y@yahoo.com, y.cook@Vanderbilt.Edu, y@excite.com >CC: y@yahoo.com, y@hotmail.com, y@yahoo.com, y_d328@yahoo.com >Subject: FW: Gasoline >Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 00:38:21 -0400 > > > > > >From: "Erin Fleming" > >To: y@mktresponse.com, y@hotmail.com, y@aol.com, > >y@aol.com, y@hotmail.com, y.Oberle@adeccona.com, > >bw_y@yahoo.com, y@strong.com, y@strong.com, > >y@efunds.com, y@sbcglobal.net, cindyfleming@wi.rr.com, > >y@strong.com, y@netscape.net, y@strong.com, > >y@strong.com, y@strong.com, y@hotmail.com, > >y@hotmail.com, y@firstweber.com, y@yahoo.com, > >y@strong.com, y_luv@yahoo.com, y@hotmail.com, > >kristystovall@msn.com, y@strong.com, lhebbrinystrong.com, > >y@execpc.com, y@strong.com, y@metalprosales.com, > >y.com, y@wi.rr.com, y@asapnet.net, > >rkoeppen@hotmail.com, y@wi.rr.com, y@strong.com, > >y@aol.com, y@y.com, y@juno.com > >Subject: FW: Gasoline > >Date: Fri, 14 May 2004 15:31:40 -0500 > > > > >Jamie > >_________________________________________________________________ >MSN Toolbar provides one-click access to Hotmail from any Web page - FREE >download! http://toolbar.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200413ave/direct/01/ > >Well, we ALL should do this, but....you know it's not gonna happen. Ok, I'll try to be OP-TIM-IST-IC and send it anyway... > > > > > >Erin > >From: joni Vasbinder >To: mom , shelly vasbinder , Lauren Myrick , sofia Jagannathan , Jules , julz , kim y , Erin y >Subject: Fwd: FW: Gasoline >Date: Fri, 14 May 2004 10:52:49 -0700 (PDT) >MIME-Version: 1.0 >Received: from web21108.mail.yahoo.com ([216.136.227.110]) by mc4-f11.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Fri, 14 May 2004 10:52:55 -0700 >Received: from [64.12.116.73] by web21108.mail.yahoo.com via HTTP; Fri, 14 May 2004 10:52:49 PDT >X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jE7aK1HQZaqWB8jDnYTb88x >Message-ID: <20040514175249.84131.y@web21108.mail.yahoo.com> >Return-Path: y_vas@yahoo.com >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 14 May 2004 17:52:56.0444 (UTC) FILETIME=[49A64BC0:01C439DC] > > > >Note: forwarded message attached. > > >--------------------------------- >Do you > Yahoo!? >SBC Yahoo! - Internet access at a great low price. > > > > ATTACHMENT part 2.3 message/rfc822 >Subject: FW: Gasoline >Date: Fri, 14 May 2004 08:28:21 -0500 >From: "Melissa Coshal" >To: , >, > >, >, >, >, > >, >, >, >"Poppy Grimsley" >, > >CC: > >v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}.shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);}st1\:*{behavior:url(#default#ieooui) } >I AM GONNA DO THIS! Who complains about gas prices more than me! > > > >BAD EVIL PEOPLE!!! > > > >--------------------------------- > > >From: Lampe, Kay [mailto:y@clearchannel.com] >Sent: Friday, May 14, 2004 8:17 AM >To: Dana Cmerek (E-mail); Howard Sklenarik (E-mail); Melissa Coshal; Nancy Austin (E-mail) >Subject: FW: Gasoline > > > > > > > >IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT PURCHASE A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES. > > > > > >AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OF OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES. > > > > > >THEREFORE MAY 19TH HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT TO THEM" DAY AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF GASOLINE THAT DAY. > > > > > >THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT. > > > >WAITING ON THIS ADMIINSTRATION TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL IN PRICES THAT THE ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO? > > > >REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF GASOLINE GOING UP BUT AT THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING COMPANIES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH EFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT IS SHIPPED. THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING MATERIALS, MEDICAL SUPPLIES ETC. WHO PAYS IN THE END? WE DO! > > > > > > > >WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON'T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE DAY, WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. > > > > > > > >SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD. FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND MAKE MAY 19TH A DAY THAT THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES SAY "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" > > > > > >Jeff, Margie, Brooke, Tori, & AJ Watson > > > > > > > TINA > >
Posted by eatingbark at May 18, 2004 03:09 PM
