to fill it up
Seeing a calendar on my sidebar blank with no entries is too unsettling. Happy February!
It's pouring rain. It's been pouring since yesterday. I passed/was held up by a few car accidents yesterday. I spent a lot of my time in the car thanking God for His continued protection on my 170 mile commute. Now that I have a baby growing inside of me, I'm more acutely aware of the perils of life, I guess. Normally I just sort of take driving for granted. I get in the car and go, every day. Passing a smashed car slowly and reverently yesterday made me very sober. That could have been me and Elvis. I could have lost Elvis. I have felt a little shaken, and I drove about 10 mph under the speed limit the rest of the way home last night. It was raining so hard, though, it didn't really matter. I feel exhausted today from the concentration of rain-driving. I don't realize how tense I get until I get home and relax.
It's pouring rain inside of me, too. I feel weepy, though I'm not really crying. My head and heart are filled with a bazillion things each vying for my attention. School is a little overwhelming, but it's teaching that pushes it over the top. I could do fine if it were just school...if I could sit in my bathrobe all day and read The Inferno for class on Friday. But no, today I have put on frustrating clothes, trudge out in the rain, put on a happy face, and try to give my students a pigeon-hole peek into the entire Middle Ages in one day. Once I get there, though, it won't be hard to drum up enthusiasm on my part, since I love the Middle Ages so much. It's getting there that's hard, and the frustration of knowing that I've spent the whole day not working on my tasks as a student.
I'll put a chicken in the crock pot. It's homey smells will welcome me home out of the rain. I'll sit back down and work up another lecture on Haydn's Symphony 104 for tomorrow's class, looking longingly at The Inferno, still unopened! And keeping baby clothes at an even further arm's reach, because our little nest is overflowing with books and I can't dream of a new nest that has a baby-shaped spot yet.